Such As I Have Is Not Much

You always say it is not much.

It comes out before the thing itself. Here, it is not much. It is only a little thing. I wish it were more. And then the thing, whatever it is, arriving already labeled as insufficient by the person handing it over.

You do it with money, when there is any. You do it with what you cook. You do it when you offer to have one of them for the afternoon.

And here is what I want to say about it, and I am going to be direct with you because I think you can take it.

The apology is doing something you do not intend.

You put it there out of humility, or out of embarrassment, or because you do not want anybody to feel obliged. But a gift handed over with a disclaimer on it arrives as a problem rather than a present, because now the person receiving it has to do a job. They have to reassure you. And the reassuring becomes the transaction, and the thing itself gets set down on a counter somewhere.

Your grandchildren are learning something from that sentence, and it is not what you mean to teach them.

Silver and gold have I none

There is a sentence in Acts that I would put on a wall if I put things on walls, and it is a man with nothing being completely direct about it.

Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. (Acts 3:6, King James Version)

Look at the shape of that. Three parts, and none of them is an apology.

First: silver and gold have I none. Plain statement of fact. No sorry about it, no explanation, no promise that things might be different later.

You are able to state a lack plainly, and saying a true thing about what you have not got has never once been the same thing as apologizing for it. Acts 3:6 puts the fact first with no sorry attached anywhere to it, and the Holy Spirit is the one who lets an honest sentence be honest without also being an apology.

Second: but such as I have give I thee. He names what he actually has and he hands it over, and he does not compare it to the silver.

Third: he acts, immediately, in the name of Jesus Christ.

You have three sentences there and not one of them looks over its shoulder, and no gift of yours has ever once needed a fourth sentence to explain it. Acts 3:6 moves from the lack to the giving to the acting without pausing to soften anything, and the Spirit of God is what gets a woman from the first sentence to the second without going back.

You have a pattern in the written word with the apology missing from it, and no gift of yours has ever once needed a disclaimer to be a real one. Acts 3:6 states the lack plainly and then gives what is in hand without comparing the two, and the Holy Spirit is the one who shows an older woman that those are two separate sentences.

That structure is the whole article. He does not say, I am sorry, I have not got any money, all I have got is this. Which is exactly what you say, every time, in a slightly different form.

You are able to name what you have not got and then give what you have, and no part of the second sentence has ever once needed to look back at the first. It is written that he said silver and gold have I none and then said but such as I have give I thee, which is why the two clauses stand apart, and the Spirit of God is what puts a period at the end of the first one.

And notice that the man at the gate was asking for money. He was asking for the exact thing Peter did not have. Peter does not treat that as a problem to be managed or softened. He simply offers what is actually his to give.

You are not obliged to grieve out loud over what somebody was hoping for, and giving what you have has never once been a failure to meet a request. The Holy Spirit is the one who lets a person give freely instead of defensively, and Acts 3 has a man handing over what he had with no reference to what he had not.

What the apology costs them

Now the practical part, and it is about your grandchildren rather than about you.

Think about what happens when you say it is not much.

A child holds a thing they were pleased with, and the person who gave it to them has just told them it is inadequate. Now they have a decision to make, and children are not equipped for it. Either they agree with you, which they will not do because they love you, or they contradict you, which means they have to manage your feelings.

Either way the moment has stopped being about the gift.

You are able to let them simply have the thing, and taking the apology out has never once been you thinking too highly of what you gave. The Spirit of God is what frees a person to give without needing anything back, and it is written that Peter named his lack once and then never mentioned it again.

And there is a second thing they are learning, which is longer term and matters more. They are learning from you how to give.

If they see, for fifteen years, that giving involves apologizing for the size of what you have, they will do the same. And a generation of people who cannot give anything without a disclaimer is a generation who mostly does not give at all, because it is easier not to than to run that sentence every time.

You are teaching them how to hand something over, and none of that has ever once depended on how much you had to give. It is written that a man with no silver said such as I have give I thee, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes a grandmother's plain sentence into the pattern a child copies at forty.

That is worth more than the thing in the bag, and it costs nothing at all.

Give it plainly, this week

So here is the assignment.

Give one thing you actually have this week, and take the apology out of the sentence.

Choose the thing first, and choose it from what is genuinely in your hands. Something you cooked. An afternoon. A walk. Something small you bought. Whatever it is, it does not have to be more than it is.

You are able to choose from what you actually have without weighing it against anything, and it has never once needed to be more than it is. Acts 3:6 has a man naming exactly what he had and giving that, and the Spirit of God is with a woman deciding what to put in a bag on a Tuesday.

Then the sentence. And here is the whole exercise: notice the apology arriving, and do not say it.

It will come. It is fifteen years of habit and it arrives in your mouth before anything has been decided. Let it go past. Then say the plain version: here, this is for you. Or: come on Thursday and we will go to the water.

That is it. Nothing after it. No it is not much. No I wish it were more. No I know it is only.

You are able to stop the sentence before the apology gets into it, and the plain version has never once been you claiming more than you gave. The Holy Spirit is the one who holds a tongue for the half second it takes, and Acts 3 has the giving done in the name of Jesus Christ with nothing apologetic anywhere near it.

Then watch what happens in their face, because it will be different, and the difference will tell you everything about what the apology has been doing for fifteen years.